Tuesday, 1 October 2013

I fell apart...

…But I’m yet to get back up again because I'm incapacitated by the feels.

 

Sometimes I don’t even know what to do with the emotions inside of me.  Let’s just look at what happened while I was asleep last night. Huge thanks to @moon_cake1 for having my back and linking me to this as soon as it happened. I heart you so big.

 

Yes, I DO say things like I heart you so big, despite the appalling grammar. I’m a rebel like that.

 

Yesterday Jared and Tomo* played a Studio Session at Radio 104.5. Shannon wasn’t there, but he often isn’t during these smaller acoustic shows. Jared was sick, so he did a lot of talking to avoid singing. Let’s just take a minute to process that level of cute.

 

/30 minutes later.

 

They opened the show with Stay. My heart spontaneously combusted, although by some unknown miracle, I survived.  After the song, this happened.  And I fell apart. The emphasis is my own, and the purple notes in brackets are my smart-ass comments.

 

HOST: I wanted to ask you; I feel like Thirty Seconds To Mars is always conceptualising: be it the videos, be it the music itself, the visual that kinda goes along with the band… And you guys have done so much. What do you feel like, is kinda on the bucket list for the band? Like ‘I want to see this happen; I want to be a part of this.’

 

JARED: Well, we still have to die. That’s coming up. [THAT’S NOT FUNNY, JARED.]

 

HOST: I don’t, I don’t want to go that dark!

 

JARED: No, there are a lot of things. I think one thing about being an artist that I hear to be true is that there’s a sense of terminal dissatisfaction, you know. And that can be a really good thing. I think that I have an innate desire to create and share things with people. And the second half of that is really paramount; you know, the sharing of what you do.

The sharing of your work is really what compels, frees you up, inspires you to make more.

You know, I sit around the piano, or with Tomo or with Shannon, in the studio or on the road, or on an airplane headed to, you know, Africa or something, and the songs come to mind, these projects are born and then we bring them to life. But without the people to share them with, there’s really no point in it all. I know that there’s probably a lot of people here who want to do something different or special with their lives, ‘cause that’s the common theme for people who are interested in Thirty Seconds To Mars because that’s kind of what it’s all about for us [Can I get an AMEN??] and I think that the big thing to remember is it’s about giving it away. It’s about being a service, you know. And that, I think that really helps keep the creativity rolling.

 

TOMO: Oh yeah, I agree with that completely.

 

HOST: And I think, to kinda echo what you’re saying, you know, when YOU create that art you SHARE that art then you inspire other art [Can I get a HALLELUJAH??] You know, so it becomes cyclical, I guess, in that way.

 

TOMO: Probably, yeah.

 

JARED: You gotta give it away to keep it, sort of thing. Right? It’s a really simple thing. It’s like anything in life, you know.

 

HOST: Absolutely.

 

JARED: It’s like anything, really.

The key to happiness is really being a service and giving and, you know, sharing.

[Can I get a PRAISE THE LORD!?]

 

HOST: And now one of the other things that I wanted to talk about was City Of Angels. Obviously very personal lyrics, very nostalgic…Now, this might get a little heavy here, BUT, if you’re going to talk to seventeen year old Jared, you’re going to go back to Jared – or Tomo even, and maybe you can speak for Shannon – what are you going to tell him?

 

JARED: Oh, Tomo? Don’t be such a punk, buddy.

 

TOMO: Exactly! Don’t be such a prick all the time! [I so cannot imagine Tomo ever being a prick.]

 

HOST: What advice would you, what would you share with that seventeen year old person?

 

JARED: You know, I think it’s important that you learn your own lessons. And I don’t think you ever really…You never really store the data unless you learn it yourself, you know what I mean? You have to go out, you have to trip and fall [or be rejected by thousands upon thousands of literary agents]. But, you know, if I was [/cough/were, Jared/cough/] going to send a message to my younger self, I would probably say:

Take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay.

[There goes my heart again.]

 

TOMO: (Laughs) Exactly!

 

JARED: You know, ‘cause when you do what I do, you worry a lot, you have a lot of concern, you’re always…You know people think that ‘oh, we’ve made it!’ and like everything’s okay, and it’s really NOT like that at all. It can be ripped away from you at any single second. We’ve survived a long time against the odds. We’re not supposed to be here.

 

HOST: You’ve got to work to keep it.

 

JARED: I wasn’t supposed to be able to make it, you know. You can’t be that guy [an actor] and then be that guy [a musician], you know. And to be able to do it for this long! What?? That’s not supposed to happen! And it’s not supposed to happen this long, I mean The Beatles only were together for seven years! Right, and we’ve been doing it, we were signed in 1998! So we’re on really hallowed ground right now, and we have a lot of respect for that. And I think that we’ve never lost sight that every time you make an album, every time you go on tour, every time you play a show,

 

You need to get up there, and you need to work your ass off. You need to do what’s necessary in order to be great.

I’ve met a lot of bands and a lot of successful people in my life, and sometimes people think that you arrive at a place, and then you can just stop and sit back.

 

TOMO: That you can coast.

 

JARED: It doesn’t happen. There is no coasting.

 

HOST: And I think that’s the beauty of Thirty Seconds To Mars. You guys kind of fight for it every day. [DAMN RIGHT THEY DO]

 

JARED: You’ve got to! You’ve got to. I mean it makes it all the sweeter, you know. Can’t we just keep talking?? You heard my voice! It was pretty bad, right??

 

[Ummm…How would you like your NO? Served with a side of HELL NO?? Your voice is AMAZING, ONE HUNDRED PER CENT of the time. You’ve just got to accept that.]

 

They then returned to be painfully cute and adorable before playing City Of Angels. By some miracle, I survived yet again. Although it was DEFINITELY touch and go for a while there. HOW am I going to cope when this is happening LIVE in March?? My mum keeps joking that she will need to bring a stretcher. Probably not a bad idea…

 

After City Of Angels (and some more banter about drinking urine…Oh, Jared…) they played the-unnamed-song-that-is-unofficially-named Save Me. I swear this set couldn’t have been more perfect if I had picked the songs myself. It’s important to note that Save Me is an unfinished song, so it’s quite a rare treat for J to play it. Well, maybe not that rare :)

 

They closed the show with Alibi, thus ensuring that I would be a blubbering mess for the remainder of the day, week, month, the rest of my entire life.

 

And now here we are. As I type this I’m re-watching the show (naturally) and feeling…I don’t even know. There is a fire inside of this heart and a riot about to explode into flames. Although I know that this isn’t the case (I’m not as crazy as I come across, I swear), I feel as though this is meant for me. Like he is talking directly to me. Go and write your damn query letter, Girl With Words. Write it and send it out. The whole point of being a writer-slash-author is to SHARE you work. It’s not doing you or anyone else any good just living on your AWESOME Triad-shaped USB stick (no matter how awesome your Triad USB stick may be**). Stop being afraid and go and LIVE YOUR DREAMS.

 

Sometimes his words are like a kick in the guts in the best possible way. So this is it. I am doing this. By the end of October, I WILL have sent out my first batch of queries. No more excuses. No more reasons why it’s not good enough. No more blog posts about how I am totally really seriously going to do it at some point in the near future. You’ve got 30 days to get this done, Girl With Words. It’s kind of fitting, don’t you think?*** The clock starts…

 

Now.

 
 

TITLE LYRICS: ‘Alibi’ by Thirty Seconds To

My.

Heart.



*Of the band Thirty Seconds To Mars.

 
 

**Isn’t my Triad USB stick freaking awesome?? You can buy one HERE.




 

***Yes, I do know that October has 31 days, but today doesn’t count. Therefore, Thirty Days.

I may be manipulating the numbers a little, but hey, it’s my blog and I’ll blog what I want to!

 

PS, Since reading about this doesn’t even come CLOSE to actually watching this level of awesome for yourself, here is the show I am referring to :) God bless the wonderful people who continually record and upload these things to YouTube. You all rock my socks off.

Xo

 

Thirty Seconds To Mars: Radio 104.5 Studio Session, September 29 2013