Saturday, 16 November 2013

You’d better lose yourself in the music; the moment you own it, you better never let it go…

Right now it is 12:00am on Friday night, and instead of working on my reports (which are due by this time next week!), I’m listening to Eminem and writing. Why? Well obviously because Eminem is freaking awesome…But also because I have words in my head that will not go away. Normally this would be cause for celebration (which writer DOESN’T want to be inspired??) but at this time of the year, it is quite unwelcome. I have very important things that I need to do for my ‘real life’, and unfortunately, writing has to take a back seat from now until the end of the school year. Well. That’s what is supposed to happen. Here’s what is happening instead:

 

The Things I Should Be Focused on:

·         Preparing end-of-year assessments;

·         Grading said end-of-year assessments;

·         Using said end-of-year assessments to inform end-of-year reports;

·         Writing said end-of-year reports;

·         Preparing learning portfolios;

·         Organising end-of-year concert item;

·         About a million other teaching (otherwise known as my actual job) related things.

 

The Things I Am Actually Focused On:

·         Writing;

·         Writing;

·         Words;

·         Writing;

·         Mars;

·         Writing;

·         Reading;

·         Writing;

·         Music;

·         Mars;

·         Writing.

 

Do you see my conundrum? I’m having extreme difficulty balancing the two. Don’t get me wrong; I am still doing my teacher-related jobs and putting in the time and effort needed to provide my students with the best education I can provide, but there is a voice in the back of my mind constantly whispering words to me. No matter what I’ve tried, the words simply will not leave.

 

I’ve tried ignoring them.
 

 
I’ve tried reasoning with them.




 

I’ve tried bribing them.




 

I’ve tried drowning them out with music.
 
 


I’ve even tried silencing them with Mars Porn.




Nothing seems to work. I mean if the porn* can’t save me, nothing can. It seems like I need to write, and I need to write now. And tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. I need to write forever because that’s who I am. I am a writer, and I’m endlessly writing because I really don’t know how to stop. I am a slave to my words and honestly, even though it’s inconvenient right now, I wouldn’t want it any other way.  All I want to do, from now until the day I die, is write. And so I will. On that note, it’s time to lose myself in the music and go write. And write. And write. And then write some more, because the moment you own it, you better never let it go.



 

TITLE LYRICS: ‘Lose Yourself’ by Eminem

 
*Once again I must clarify that I don’t watch actual porn. I am referring to Mars Porn, which consists of pictures and videos of Thirty Seconds To Mars on tour. Such as this one:

 

Okay. So that one was pornographic. You’re welcome, by the way :3