Tuesday, 24 December 2013

I bully myself ‘cause I make me do what I put my mind to…

Ooo, how novel! I actually have time to sit down and write something! Apologies for my absence; the last few weeks of the term are always absolutely INSANE. As a teacher you are endlessly bombarded with assessments and reports and learning portfolios and marking and record cards and more marking and concert items and more assessments and about a million other things that you are certain you will never finish because you feel a little bit like you are drowning and did you really get through all this last year surely you didn’t because oh my god it’s insane.


Somehow (and you don’t even really know how, but the stack of empty RedBull cans by your bed side gives you a vague idea) you make it to the last day of the year, and you’re so happy you could cry and maybe you do cry a little because you’ve grown to love your class, even that little boy who spent the entire year sitting next to your desk because you couldn’t take your eyes off him for a single second or you’d find the furniture super-glued to the ceiling.

One day you wake up and you realise that there’s no need to think in enormous run-on sentences because it’s the school holidays and you made it, good grief you made it through the year and it was fun and crazy and insane but it’s over now and you realise that suddenly you can just


And breathe.

Because it’s the school holidays, kids.

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate that.


Now to be perfectly honest with you all, when I woke up this morning, on this, the glorious first day of the school holidays, I didn’t really feel like writing. I know, right?? Blasphemy! Here I’d spent almost the entire year complaining that I didn’t have enough time to write, and when I finally had the time, I didn’t really want to. That’s typical Girl With Words behaviour, and it’s one of things that annoys me the most about myself. I do my best work under pressure, even if that pressure is just the knowledge that I have more important things to be doing. Take away the pressure, and I flit around aimlessly and unproductively. It’s sick.


I absolutely REFUSE to waste my holidays in this way. I’ve been waiting for this for MONTHS, and while it is deeply tempting to spend the next six weeks devouring books and catching up on all the Mars Porn I missed while I was drowning in school work (and my oh my, how tempting that is), I am going to be productive instead*. I am going to write and I am going to work my ass off, because that’s what it takes to live your dreams, right?

I thought a lot about how I was going to make this happen and avoid getting distracted by The Feels or spending hours reading books that actually made it to the ‘publishing’ stage, and I decided that the best way was to make a list. We all know how my raging case of OCD loves a good list (or several), and making a public list has the added bonus of having to live up to my lofty goals and creating the pressure I require to thrive. Great idea, no?

So, with that in mind, here’s an overview of my holiday goals. Feel free to hold me to them. In fact I encourage it!

·         Edit my synopsis to accommodate for agent requirements;

·         Send out a bazillion more queries;

·         Be rejected a bazillion more times;

·         FINISH the first draft of my WIP** by Jan 31, #NaNoWriMo style: 1667 words a day, baby.

·         Blog more;

·         Read more (including beta-reading for two gorgeous ladies);

·         Enter more writing competitions;

·         Control my Feels Impossible, because I cannot. I. Can. Not.

·         Lose weight for my Meet + Greets with Thirty Seconds To Mars  Whoops, wrong list!

You can do anything you set your mind to. Time to make this dream a reality.



TITLE LYRICS: ‘Rap God’ by Eminem

*And then reward myself with the porn because it’s Mars, people.

I cannot.