Monday, 7 April 2014

Everything that drowns me makes me want to fly.

In my experience, there are two main things that stop us from reaching our goals. One is doubt. The other is the doubters. I’ve written about doubt a few times now, so today I want to focus on the doubtERS. The people who tell you that you can’t do it. The people who tell you to give up. The people who make you question why you even bother to try. I know I have at least one of those people in my life (cough), and I’m sure that everyone who has ever tried to do something special or different with their life has as well. It can be hard to deal with at times, but here are some things to remember:



Not all doubters are trying to bring you down.

Sometimes the people who are the most vocal in telling you WHY your dreams are impossible actually think they are doing you a favour. They think that they are seeing “reality” and you are living in a fantasy. In my experience these are actually the most difficult people to cope with, because you know that what they are saying is coming from a good place. This is often because…



...Some doubters just don’t understand the concept of following your dreams.

Sometimes people have had experiences in their life that have led them to believe that dreams aren’t possible. That you can’t make a living doing something creative, something you love. They don’t mean to upset you or bring you down; they just can’t understand how people can believe in the possibilities of their dreams.

 

…However, some doubters are just jerks.

Jealousy is an ugly emotion, and sometimes people really are just jealous that you have the will to fight to the death in defence of your dreams. These are the people who feel threatened by your success or your efforts, and these people really have no place in your life. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but if people can’t support you (even if they don’t understand you) and they insist on bringing you down, then you have to question the role they are playing in your life. Someone once said that walking away from a relationship that hurts more than it helps doesn’t mean that you hate a person; it means that you respect yourself enough to do what’s best for you. That is sage advice.

                                                    
Facing the doubters is never fun, especially when you are full of your own doubts and concerns. I know, because I have one MAJOR doubter in my life right now. There’s this one person who keeps telling me my dream is impossible and I shouldn’t even bother to try. I’d like to believe that this person fits into category one or two, but some days, I’m just not sure. But you know what? It doesn’t matter. I don’t let it get to me. Every time I’m told that I can’t do something, it just gives me the drive I need to succeed. It gives me another reason to fight and another reason to win. Let me tell you this: Dreams ARE possible. They are. If you can work your ass off then you can achieve your goals. SOMEONE has to be the writers, the painters, the singers and the actors of the world, right? Someone has to do the thing you dream about doing. Why can’t that be you? Or me? Or your brother or sister or neighbour? There isn’t some elite club of people who can live their dreams. There isn’t a secret handshake or a membership fee. The people who achieve their dreams are simply the people who want it the most. The people with the most drive. The most desire. The most passion. The people who work the hardest and the people who never stop trying. Try and fail but never fail to try, right? Sure, there are definitely some people who have connections or who ‘get lucky’, but the majority of the people in the world who are living their dreams are the people who worked for it. I can do the work. You can do the work. We can make our dreams our reality. Forget the doubters and forget the self-doubt. Forget the limitations in life and relish in the possibilities. Let everything that weighs you down give you a reason to grow wings. That’s what I aim to do. I aim to embrace all the negative and turn it into something positive. I let it drive me and fuel me to try even harder. After all…Everything that drowns me makes me want to fly.

 

Title lyrics: ‘Counting Stars’ by One Republic.